Emmett's Elevator Escapade
by Emma-MasenCullen
Summary: Part Four in the Bad Emmett Series. Emmett Elevator Giggles and Fun... But what happens when the rest of the family find out... Giggles are definitely included :D


_**Part Four of The Bad Emmett**_

Emmett's Elevator Escapade 

A few weeks after Emmett had tried and failed to annoy Edward, Carlisle was getting ready for work, like any other regular morning. He pulled on his coat and picked up his briefcase. He kissed Esme goodbye and off he went. He just got outside the door when the postman appeared. Carlisle smiled friendlily as the postman gave him his mail. He turned back into the house to place the mail on the counter after seeing what was there. Bill, bill, junk, bill….and then an official-looking brown envelope.

Not needing to rush to work, he would be on time even if he left two minutes before needing to be there, he opened the rather unexpected piece of mail which was addressed to him alone. The letter head stated that it was from Port Angeles Shopping Centre. Maybe Alice had won a prize for shopping constantly for 5 hours or spending the most money. Carlisle read on.

"Dear Mr Cullen,

I am writing to inform you of your son's appalling conduct in our shopping centre. Over the past few weeks your son has committed no less than 30 offenses in our elevators. We have been able to build quite a case against your son with the aid of CCTV, but as you are a respected and valued member of the community we are not going to press charges if you can restrain your son. The offenses of which I speak of are:

1. Pressed all the buttons in the elevator so it stops on all the floors.

2. Make noises like if he where in pain, hit himself in the head while repeatedly saying, "Shut up, all of you, shut up."

3. Read the bible aloud at a high volume.

4. He ate a piece of sandwich and asked another passenger, "Do you want to see what's in my mouth?"

5. Scared an old lady by saying in an evil voice, "I must find another body to possess!"

6. Made explosion sound whenever someone pushed a button.

7. Pressed the emergency stop button on several occasions.

8. He jumped up and down, encouraging the children to do it to because "it's good luck."

9. Frightened a young child by staring at her, then saying "the monsters are going to eat you!"

10. Harassed people by taking pictures of them.

11. Put a Twister mat on the floor and asking people if they'd like to play.

12. Pretended to have motion sickness and throw up fake sick on people.

13. Pretended he was an armed robber then squirted a water gun at people saying "fooled you"

14. He held the door open on the highest floor and insisted they remained open. When one of our staff asked him why, he replied "I wanted to hear a penny drop down to the bottom of the shaft and go plink.

15. Harassed people by forcing them into a group hug.

16. Said he was a vampire and wanted to suck people's blood, scaring many people.

17. Suggested he had a person in a briefcase by asking it if it had enough air.

18. Frightened people by telling them stories of being stuck the elevator for 3 days without food and nearly dying.

19. Singing, loudly.

20. Sell cookies he said he stole from Girl Scouts.

21. Hitting other elevator users. When asked why he said he was practising Tai-Chi and that they were in his way.

22. Drew graffiti on the inside of the elevator.

23. Harassed a woman by saying he has "X-ray specks" on and he could see her naked.

24. Crouched in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.

25. Stared at another passenger for a while, then announced that he was "one of THEM!" and moved to the far corner of the elevator, upsetting the other passenger.

26. Purposely caused the lift to break down so that he could threaten to sue us.

27. He set up a desk and every time someone got on he asked if they had an appointment.

28. He stated that there were "killer bees" in the lift and he was killing them.

29. Dropped a pen and waited until someone reached to help pick it up, then screamed, "That's mine!"

30. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!", upsetting many people and making them feel uncomfortable.

I am afraid if you cannot refrain your son from doing it again, I will be pressing charges and you and your family will be banned from the Port Angeles Shopping Centre.

Yours Sincerely,

Peter Lock

Port Angeles Shopping Centre – Centre Manager"

Carlisle, who was not amused in the slightest, knew someone who would be even more outraged than he was; even if it was for entirely different reasons – Alice.

He called Alice from the living room. She was still battling through a game of mental chess and she seemed a little put out when she wandered into the hall. Carlisle handed her the letter, telling her to read it.

If vampires could change colour, Alice's pale complexion would have changed to bright red with fury through to purple, blue and finally green with nausea at the thought of not shopping there again. A loud laugh came from the living room, Edward, naturally, was watching all the things she was going to do to Emmett through her head and he must have thought it funny because he couldn't stop laughing. On the other hand, Alice didn't look amused, she had a murderous tint to her eyes and her hands balled up into fists so she couldn't punch anything. Anything except perhaps Emmett.

Alice, the look of death still upon her, stormed out of the house into the garden. Emmett was swinging from the trees until he heard a deafening roar from Alice who had now hauled him down from the tree and had him in headlock before he even knew what was happening.

"How dare you, Emmett, how dare you, if you put one toe out of line while we're shopping ever again, I will personally rip you up and burn the pieces. I swear to God, I will…you will _never_ come between me and shopping ever again…or you _will _suffer the consequences."

Carlisle managed to pull Alice off Emmett before she could do any real damage and sent her inside; still as furious as she was when she came out. Emmett, who was recovering from her surprise attack, was lying on the ground. Carlisle spoke in an official tone, "You will no longer go shopping with Alice as we cannot trust you and we cannot subject Edward into supervising you, however, you have earned the task of all our personal slaves, whatever we ask you'll do, within reason. And if you ever do that to Alice again I will not stop her from ripping you apart, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Carlisle."

"Good, now go inside."

Emmett, with his head hung in shame, mumbled to himself, "Should have seen that coming."

**(A/N Hey guys, I'm dedicating this to all the wonderful people who have reviewed, favourited or story alerted any of the previous instalments of The Bad Emmett series. Another story of Emmett-filled fun on the way soon…) **


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